How to manage mom guilt

Here is an example of unhooking from mom guilt using these steps:

1.) Notice your experience.
Recognize what your thoughts sound like, the story you are telling yourself, and the emotion there. Maybe it sounds like: “I shouldn’t leave the kids at school after 4pm.”

Consider… is there a value here? Maybe you care about quality time and routine, so it’s important to you that your children are home in order to spend time together.

OR.. is this a thought rooted in unhelpful comparisons?

2. Reflect on what this means for you.
If you feel guilt because “that one mom picks her child up early,” and it’s not actively something that you value, that’s unnecessary and unhelpful guilt.

Are your thoughts helpful or hurtful? Do they indicate something that is important to you? (helpful)

Does this thought motivate you to make a change that moves you closer to a life of meaning? (helpful)

Or...
Does this thought leave me feeling unworthy, unmotivated, and out of line with my values? (unhelpful)

3. Choose what you want to be about.
For example, if you value patience and presence. For you to live those values you may need to exercise or call a friend before pick up. 

Or, perhaps you value order. That might mean putting the laundry away first and being the last one in the pick up line. Try tuning into this and noticing if you are living your values, or someone elses. There’s freedom in mothering and decision making without guilt and shame!